Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She made me pour olive oil on her.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
