He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
