Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
