If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
