Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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