What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
