Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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