Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
