my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
