it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
