What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
