He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
