I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
