Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
