I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
God, I missed his penis.
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