Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
50% drunk capacity currently
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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