Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Come on in and take your pants off
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
