Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
