hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
