it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
