Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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