i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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