did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
