Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
