Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
