She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
