someone threw a dead crab at me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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