Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
