I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Oh god it's open bar.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
