wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
