Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
