4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
