He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
