My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
