hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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