Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
