Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
