I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
