margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
