If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
