you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
