if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
