I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
