tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
