i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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