this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
3pm strippers are depressing
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
