i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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