If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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