if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
