She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
