Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
