I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
