U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Who died my cat blue again?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
